Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
