People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
