my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
