I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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