her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
