Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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