Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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