There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just invented taco cereal.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
