there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
