elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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