Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
