I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
