I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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