Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
