Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
