I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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