What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
