Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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