So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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