never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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