Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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