I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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