using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
