sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
