I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
