I smell stomach acid.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
