We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
