so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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