yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
