Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
