for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
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A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.