Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?