***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.