I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.