yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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