Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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