just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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