How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize