soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize