i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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