i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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