Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
