haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
honey bunches of taint.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
