Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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