I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
