I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize