I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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