At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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