so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
