I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
