There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
