just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
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booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.