You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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