Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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