just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
