I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
