thus making me awesome and them whores
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
