Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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