the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
