Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize