Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love you.
Bad choice
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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