SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
