I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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